Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize