Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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