Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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