It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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