the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
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He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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