Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
