whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize