he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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