and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
