I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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