I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
