stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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