Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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