my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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