There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
