i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
