My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
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