I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
my shit smells like andre
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
