alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
