Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.