no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.