Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??