Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
