literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
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obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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