when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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