It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
