would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
