dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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