My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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