I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
