Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
