i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize