we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
