She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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