i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
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I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
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I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.