Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives