she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening