She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
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Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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