It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
