think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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