A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
