Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
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I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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