just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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