i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
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She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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