It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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