the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
