we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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