This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize