Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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