I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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