Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize