Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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