There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
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he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
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My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face