She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
